Archive for September, 2006

Thinking…

I won’t write what this is about, some people who knows me personally understands what I speak of.

Maybe, for my brother (not him whom I met today), I’m a reminder, a subject, about what he doesn’t want to know about our father. Since.. he don’t treat me or my burden (pain) with much, basically any, understanding. It’s hard for him to know the reason to my situation which leads to no understand at all. So, I can’t take this to heart, which I have in the past just until now recently. I need to understand where he is coming from, and I do understand it can be very difficult to have that knowledge as a burden. Cause a tough burden it is. I’m a little emotional right now, close to teary eyed, because I love my brother and I don’t wish any burdens on him. It must be very difficult, and confusing, for him. *Needs to take a deep breath*. I hope and wish that one day we can speak of this and relieve any tension he’s got due to this. Ok literary cries now, I will stop. It just must be so very very hard for him, I’m sorry. It’s not my fault and I don’t take the blame, I’m just sorry that he have to hurt.

I wonder, if he is his mind, have gone through his memories of our today passed father for hints or suggestions and if he’s ever felt that he should have known and could have prevented or put an end to it.

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Same language, different dialect.

The words of a confronting girl made me realize a few things of importance to myself. As the conversation led on I too widened her view. It is great when two different minds come to an understanding, a realization of the others intent. Finding out there’s a mutual ground only separated by the difference in expression. Feeling the same way just speaking a different dialect that isn’t easy for the other to interpret, of the same language.

Mixed Post

I need to redecorate to make the new shelf fit which is standing in the middle of the living room. It is tall separated into two pieces, one lower with doors for storage and one top with glass doors. I more like the new fresh style both in homedecoration and clothes, well anything basically, but this piece used to follow grandmother when she moved around. I have always loved it, I think she had this piece before I was born and it’s till in perfect condition despite all grandchildren growing up around it. Which reminds me, we weren’t allowed to play with it. That’s grandma’s secret to keeping it in such good shape. I plan to remodel this whole room, I have a vision and it is going to be great.

I got a phonecall today, or 4, which I missed cause I slept late. I was kind of worried that my brother had called me 4 times since we usually never speak which eachother. So I had fears that something had happened to a family member, but I also thought It’s Saturday, maybe his son is playing football. I called him back listening to the sound of his voice for anything out of the ordinary, but all he wanted was for me to come down to the football field to watch his son’s game. So I gave the dog his breakfast and we went there, it’s just a 5 minute walk from here.

It was great seeing him, since it’s not so often.

The Libra in me.

Libra; The man that wants her love, must realize that beauty, harmony and safety is essential for her wellbeing. I couldn’t live happy with a man that doesn’t understand how important those three things are for me. Reading about the star sign Libra I notice not much is true for me but these things are part of what is.

In the WP forums I saw a thread about how to get visitors to your blog. “Write about things that people are interested in.” Although more visitors and comments are always welcome here I don’t feel there would be a point in having a blog if I didn’t write about what’s in my life. To write hot topics simply for visitors to click my URL isn’t my point of having a online journal. Everything seen here is “Solely She” related in one way or another. In thought or in daily life. It’s mad late now and I have missed any chances of a good beauty sleep.

Tech Tags:

Porn

I would think that most of the men that uses the Internet more than anything else use it for the porn. Doesn’t men every tire? Don’t they feel “there is just too much sex now” and feel the need of more Love than Sex. I used Technorati and searched with the word “sex”, these are some of the results that came up.

“Dirty whore stuffs her fingers in her pussy …”
“A thick cock is stuck between blondes pair of…”
“Ts andreia gets nasty with veggies”

To me that is too nasty. It’s too much. It is too filthy. Which makes it disgusting and disturbing to me. I suppose there’s two types of men. Those who got their computer filled with downloaded porn and even burns it to a CD. And those that ISN’T addicted to porn and takes what the ladies are willing to give him. I guess men with good game gets less easy addicted to porn?

When I’m attracted to someone, I mean more than a sexual attraction. When I feel there is a possibility to a relationship with someone I find out quickly what that man is about and if he has qualities which I can’t handle/won’t handle any desire I might have had for him is gone. It is easy to spot the porn addicted or even qualities I don’t like for me. Without them having to say a word, I just see it on them. I won’t explain it, I’m not sure I can’t, I just wanted to write that I wouldn’t want a person that is all into Internet porn and that .. “I know”, how odd/fake/weird that may seem. But I’m REALLY glad I have that sence of people, or what ever it is. It saves many heart aches, and more.

So, do men who search for “Hoe doing veggies” ever tire of sex and just simply want love? So if you found this post by searching similar words.. fill me in?

It is weird that only a hoe can do for some men. I like a man that a lady can do for. A man that is turned on by what a lady gives. To be honest, I wouldn’t even want a male friend who functions in that way. I do choose my male friends carefully.

Tech Tags:

sexual content

I browsed around the forums in search for an answer to a question I have which is; Where is the line when it comes to showing sexual content on a WP blog? I see some blogs here with photos of women without any cover to her breasts. I am use to Blogspot which doesn’t allow that and I have with me a former Blogspot blogging friend here to WP who wish to post more sexual images like that so I am trying to find out on his behalf. Do the blogs on WP with naked women break any rules and is only a moment away from being deleted, or is it OK?

Amazing.

pregnancy

My reaction: Amazing. It that possible or is the photo fixed?

My partners reaction: Disgusting.


Welcome

Hi and welcome. This is my journal where I can find a peace of mind. Perhaps teach myself something. I escape here to unwind, cry or complain, or share my joy. Hope you enjoy your stay.

The current mood of mixedpearl at www.imood.com

She

A 27 year old womans attempt to understand herself and the rest of the world. Difficult to explain myself with only a few words, you decide from the words in my journal. I suppose I am trying to find my strength through this so I think I am a bit confused, I'm quite emotional and very loving though I at times may seem very cold.

Additional Info

A rather new blog but not a new blogger. From Swedish decent, this blog will contain both languages.
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Most photos and poetry may not be copied. If you are unsure please do ask me before redistributing.