mixed post #5

A man from the family of the man my mother was married to in her young 20’s works at a local (somewhat local) mall where he runs his own fashion clothing store (which I adore ofc, and gets price off.). I stopped by there yesterday and he asked about my grandmother. While she still was able to be physically active she took long walks and at the end, before she had to move to an elderly arrangement to get help in the daily bouts she always used to stop by his store, he told me. He said that she didn’t recognize
(hmm hears a gunshot outside, never mind.. I’m blogging!) most that she always
used to say hello to when visiting that mall but she always came in to greet him and knew
who he was until the very end. He misses her, he said.
He asked about her health state today and I told him that she doesn’t remember anything for
too long but she always seem to remember myself, she has confused my mother (her daughter)
with her own mother or sister at times. Asking where did “Anna-Lisa” go when my mom disappeared off at times.

I notice now that I don’t have room for more people in my life. But, that may not be it,
actually. I think it’s more that the wrong types of people have tried become part of my life. Meaning people that I really don’t have anything in common with.

I decided to look up Dr.Phil on the net because when I’ve catched his shows he always has these great amazing things to say. And I’m always in the search for knowledge of the kind he preaches so I figured it’s a great source for inspiration and more.

Called my honey, I miss him so much. I’m finding it more difficult to stay without him during the weeks. I think it’s time (according to my feelings) to see eachother at least for few minutes everyday. Meaning.. I really wish to share apartment with him. But then comes the block, the dog (cock blocker! lol) whom I luv by the way. There is no way my honey would want to live with a dog that’s the size he is and still believes he is a little puppy that can fit in ones lap and since my honey “A” isn’t use to having a dog around .. it would be difficult to start laying anything of value on higher levels. My dog would cause him a lot of stress also since “A” works everyday on full-time and my dog is so full of energy. “A” wouldn’t get enough sleep and cause irritation and it would effect his work (the most important reason to why it just isn’t possible).

I suppose by this it is all up to me.. But I couldn’t for anything put my baby to sleep.
That’s my dog, my homie, best friend, loyal companion. It isn’t an option. So.. I have to
wait with my needs of living together and seeing him every day. A hopeless situation.


2 Responses to “mixed post #5”

  1. 1 mrdeadworry October 20, 2006 at 12:37 am

    I am sorry that he does not want to live with dog. My dog has caused me a lot of heart ache for sure but he should love your dog as much as you do. I think he does. And if he does he would be more than willing to have him live with the both of you.
    I am kind of suprised that you did not move in with your boy freind. I had assumed that you were moving with him. I wish you were because I know it would make you happy. Why is this not the case? Please do not get rid of the dog. My dog has become the most important part of my life and I refuse to let any one to tell me to get rid of him. In fact I have turned down jobs that would have been extremely lucritive and fun because of hom and you know what I do not regret it at all. They need us. You are their everything. Rember that. Make your man understand that.
    I think the two of you could be amazing together so do not let this situatiion (the dog) get between you.

  2. 2 solelyshe October 20, 2006 at 7:50 am

    If it didn’t effect his performance on work I’m sure it wouldn’t be no problem. It would be cruel of me to not understand that, thinks I. Cruel to lay it on him when he already is tired from work. A good friend don’t do that, and I don’t have the heart to do that to him even. So it’s not about how much he loves me or the dog.

    This is his first place and it is I who have said that it is important for everyone to not move in with a partner right away, but to enjoy the own place first for a while. I’m insisting on it, it is important. So I have decided to put my own wishes and needs to the side a little bit (not much longer) because I love him and wants whats best for him. I who have gone through this already knows. And I knew in the start of our relationship since he is younger I have to wait for a few things. I was ready to share apartment immedietly, since having before I knew what it was about. But since I truely love him, I must give him freedom. These are my words, my feelings, not something that he has said to me.

    No that’s my baby, as I wrote, I couldn’t get rid of him. For anything. I am glad to see that you are the type of person to turn down jobs where you couldn’t bring your dog. That’s how to do it! Much respect.

    Excuse that I am too lazy to spell-check 🙂
    Or grammar check.

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Hi and welcome. This is my journal where I can find a peace of mind. Perhaps teach myself something. I escape here to unwind, cry or complain, or share my joy. Hope you enjoy your stay.

The current mood of mixedpearl at www.imood.com


A 27 year old womans attempt to understand herself and the rest of the world. Difficult to explain myself with only a few words, you decide from the words in my journal. I suppose I am trying to find my strength through this so I think I am a bit confused, I'm quite emotional and very loving though I at times may seem very cold.

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A rather new blog but not a new blogger. From Swedish decent, this blog will contain both languages.
October 2006
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