Sex (object)

I am so incredibly turned off and disgusted by hearing the words: “I don’t really care how you are on the inside. I’m just incredibly turned on by your looks” from men. I honestly feel like puking from those words, makes me feel that sick. They say it’s a compliment, for me it is an insult. Makes me wish to beat the shit out of them.
I suppose the reason to why I feel the way I do is because first I don’t work my body in that way to try get that kind of recognition. Second I am turned on personally by intelligence and doesn’t choose looks over it in a partner. Third I’m not into one night stands.. I suppose if I was I’d like those words … ? And I guess, it’s disgusting for me when it’s not someone I find physically attracted at all. Well who isn’t? I think it’s sick to say that to someone who’s obviously not after only sex. I for one does not like being viewed as a object, I think that’s for the dumb girls. Dumb girls being those that doesn’t respect their bodies. I don’t consider myself being one, for I am not. I prefer being attraced by brains not looks but ofc a mix of the both os the best. Not only looks, eeks. Psychos.

Since, I suppose, most men are after sex they don’t have a problem being viewed this way.
So I don’t expect many men to understand how I feel. Thought I know some do. Depending on a womans way of life and view, decides wether she understands or not.

This post may sound a bit negative.. but it’s not to me. Maybe it’s even provocative? Not my intention.

Save those comments for playboy  wannabes?
Odd when a guy is so horny that he forgets respect.
It may be worth a punch to you, but your bothering the woman.

There is such a thing called sexual harassment.
And it IS sexual harassment to women that is not the type of woman who appreciates that kind of attention.
A woman chooses who she wants sexual attention from.
If not chosen, it’s harassment.
What makes you think she wants you to say that to her?
Unless she calls for it it’s uncalled for.
Some women are very sensitive, it’s not something to overlook but respect.
And to laugh at is, tells your not so very understanding to women. I wouldn’t want to know a man that’s not.
There’s a name for it; Caveman.
And he probably doesn’t respect women in other areas as well, if not in this.

Save sexual words for women that asks for it.
Also, I have noticed that so many see sexual invitations where there isn’t any.
I am speaking of men now because I have no idea how it is with other women. I suppose they do but most men doesn’t mind. So it’s not the same thing.
A man can say “She’s asking for it” when a woman is doing the simplest of things and not at all is having those thougts.
Dirty minds.
And a dirty mind is alright, but I think it’s not only more effective but also nicer to a woman that’s not up for it to direct it to someone that is.

I know we cannot as humans excuse our selves for how we have been designed, but we need to think a bit.
If not were only so far away from getting our selves into trouble and also perhaps hurting someone else.


10 Responses to “Sex (object)”

  1. 1 mrdeadworry October 25, 2006 at 2:30 am

    So what if it is provocative? So. That is a good thing. Men like that are not good. I hate that line ¨She is asking for it.¨
    I have a past that is colorful with sexual predators I have a strong dislike for that type of person and I do know exactly what you are talking about. My mother was a rape councilor when I was growing up. In fact I had to deal with a lot of the problems of rape victims. This is how a lot of these situations start. With the language that you are talking about. I could never really get into the language that guys use to describe women. I will not even to get into racism. There is subject I will not even breach here. As far as I am concerned we are all human. Being human we are supposed to be able to be able to be compassionate towards other humans. That is what humans are supposed to be about. Unfortunately all I see is greed and self satisfaction. Thus sexual harassment and rape.
    As for the Play boy bunnies my best friend´s mom was one. You want to know somethind she was nothing like what people would expect a woman of Playboy would be. She is the mother I never had. I would be carefull describing Playboy bunnies as women that are ignorant of their sexuallitiy. This is not true. There are women out there that do not understand what it means to be human but Playboy bunnies may not be your objective for this post.
    Most of the women that feel fine with being objectivied have had a serious problem with sexual exploitation. Most of the women that I have talked to that are in this type of work are not ignorant by any means.
    So in retrospect sexaual harassment is bad. That is all on the male of the species not the female. Unless of course it is a female that is doing the harassment. Then it is a female problem.

  2. 2 solelyshe October 25, 2006 at 10:21 am

    Playboy bunnies and wanna be playboy bunnies are a totally different thing. The actually and real playboy bunnies a women to respect. The wannabe ones a every day girls that both dress nasty and aren’t classy. Girls whos got it all wrong. The ones we see when were out in the club that lets any man have them in their lap. So not talking bad about the actualy ones, I think their pretty cool.

    Sometimes it’s like I feel I am wrong, because even women sais that I am negative and don’t give people credit. It is somewhat easy to start doubt yourself. But I shouldn’t forget and not let anyone change my mind; Men like that are no good. Thank you for saying it!

    I so dislike some mens view of women. And it seem so natural.

    I have a question that perhaps you can answer? Do most men believe they are better than women? That is how I understand it. It’s just in an attitude that I believe most women doesn’t even notice.

  3. 3 mrdeadworry October 25, 2006 at 7:52 pm

    You might be right. I think a majority of men think that they are smarter than women. It is slowly changing. In time maybe we will all realize that we are different and the same, we are both a part of the human whole..

  4. 4 solelyshe October 25, 2006 at 10:56 pm

    I believe that because men don’t think a woman would know really what men think of women and in what way they show me anger when I mention some fact about them (that most women don’t know). I honestly don’t see how they who don’t can learn to view women as equals, for their thoughts of women wil. be passed down to their offsprings (boys, ofc).

    I who am aware are hurt. What is it they believe they are smarter in? Fighting,fishing, all the masculine things? What about the feminine things? They only laugh at that. We as women are smarter and much kinder because we do not laugh at what they are good in but are supportive. We respect what they do, but they don’t respect what we do (the feminine things). Speaking generally now, I suppose, many men are good as well.

    Why can’t they change their minds? What’s up with that way of thinking? I believe it is because women doesn’t realize it that it doesn’t change. Well, today women are starting to, therefore a bit of change in men.

    It is evil.. to do something evil simply because they get away with it.

    No.. not much beautiful about men.

  5. 5 MrDeadworry October 26, 2006 at 9:09 pm

    How about this statement made by a senior Muslim cleric in Australia:
    Calling women that do not wear much clothing ¨uncovered meat¨.
    Read the rest here:

  6. 6 solelyshe October 26, 2006 at 9:33 pm

    There is not much else to expect from such a person. All I do is pity.

  7. 7 Thomas January 11, 2007 at 4:05 pm

    I’m so tired of women working so very, very hard to be offended and to make inflamatory and prejudicial statements about a gender in general.

    You’re good looking? Yippie-fucking skippy. You don’t do any work to get that way, Good on ya’, mate. You want to be appreciated for who you are inside? Then try to not let your snippy little inner whiner reign supreme.

    I take damn good care of myself, and it gets noticed. Like a nice looking car on the road, the way we appear is what gets noticed initally. Admiration of your physical form is NOT objectifying, it’s a given. Now if you accentuate your physical form with tightfitting clothes and plunging necklines, then perhaps the person who should be told to stop treating you like a sex object should be YOU. And if you’re tired of men telling you that they only want you for your body, then perhaps you should stop trying to get someone else’s approval in the first place.

    Me? I’m blissfully married to a woman who claims it’s because of my “hot ass,” so don’t worry about me falling all over my hardening manhood to tell you how much I “wanna piece o’that.” And if this insight into your personality is an example, you’re quite unattractive in that respect. The plus side is that you needn’t worry about a pregnancy as your pissy attitude is a natural birth control.

  8. 8 solelyshe January 26, 2007 at 10:06 am

    I am so tired of hearing men say that if a woman don’t want to treated with sexual approaches then she shouldn’t look/dress sexy (more or less not take care of her physical appearance). It’s men who thinks it’s a mans world and don’t want it to change into something equal who utters words of that kind. A man who sees men are above women. A woman shouldn’t cover up or not take care of her appearance because of that men can’t respect her as a woman. Men lay their blames of lack of respect and discipline on women. A woman no matter how good she looks deserves respect and not to be TREATED as a sex object or a woman that any man can get with. It takes more than how she dresses to call for such behavior, it takes her announcing herself as a woman who likes that kind of attention from men. It is in how she behaves and how she responds to life in general, not the percent of her body she covers up.

    A man should find out where a woman stands before he take any sexual approaches. That is my opinion. I am so tired of men that don’t respect a woman because of how she dress. Women likes to be admired, true. But we don’t like to be treated as sluts and men really oughta find restraint to wait with nasty remarks until he knows how receptive a woman is to him. Otherwise it’s SEXUAL HARASSMENT, no matter how a woman dress. So sick and tired of that view of women. Respect is respect. Disrespect is disrespect. And YOU CAN’T BLAME ANYONE ELSE FOR HOW YOU TREAT A PERSON. Its all in you, lack of discipline or not. Idiot or not. I could go on, and on, and on, and on.

    I Am WOMAN. And DAMN PROUD – We have a more beautiful heart than to treat our opposites unfair. Some should LEARN from us. We ADMIRE you, you should do the same {Admire and treat bad don’t go hand in hand}. We want to be EQUALS, not above you. You want to be ABOVE, in your minds you are. It is weakness and fear to want to keep it that way. How do feel knowing your weak and afraid? We still need you if your our equal. Don’t you see we would love you more. This makes us call you ASSHOLE.

    Arguing against tells your a man that don’t respect women. Sure, say that you do, call me crazy. Isn’t it funny how some believe they can huff and puff and believe it’s gonna change your mind/make you believe their lies? Isn’t it funny that the ones that would argue against are someone who thinks women should have their “rightful” place? Isn’t it funny how they get upset because of another persons opinions? Differed opinions don’t need to mean war, honey. Only if it hurts someone, like in this case, women.
    (No, I’m not angry) One don’t need to be angry to speak of unjustness. I feel SAD and upset it is this way. Anger only makes you the loser.

    Your JELAOUS of us women. Our BEAUTY, our CHARM, you want it.

    And why the fuck should I worry about you, I don’t give a damn about you. I’m only glad that you don’t find me attractive. As if I need ASSHOLES to be attracted to me.


  9. 9 hudds53 February 17, 2007 at 4:33 am

    I spent all of my working career as a banker. In the bank I have worked with hundreds of different Ladies. Banking is a field where generally the Ladies out number the men greatly. Possibly it goes back to the teaching from my mother, and then has been confirmed by my life experiences, but I have always felt gender makes no difference when it comes to competence, skill or ability. All should be treated with the same respect and dignity.
    As a male, I do admit to often casting admiring looks at the ladies. In fact I will go as far as to say I appreciate and am thankful to those that take the time and the effort it takes to make themselves look good. I am a firm believer that the human female is God’s most beautiful work or art.
    I also feel very strongly that all females should be treated as Ladies, irregardless of the circumstances or the manner of dress and there are no exceptions to this rule.
    Bill – Dying Man’s Daily Journal

  10. 10 melissa April 17, 2007 at 2:23 pm

    yes i guess i do like people appreciating the way i look but i have met about three men in the past couple of weeks who just wanted sex and after the realised im not like that they would stop calling, is this saying something about me personally or does it say something about them,. i would love to find a relationship.. urgh!

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Hi and welcome. This is my journal where I can find a peace of mind. Perhaps teach myself something. I escape here to unwind, cry or complain, or share my joy. Hope you enjoy your stay.

The current mood of mixedpearl at


A 27 year old womans attempt to understand herself and the rest of the world. Difficult to explain myself with only a few words, you decide from the words in my journal. I suppose I am trying to find my strength through this so I think I am a bit confused, I'm quite emotional and very loving though I at times may seem very cold.

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A rather new blog but not a new blogger. From Swedish decent, this blog will contain both languages.
October 2006
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