Archive for November, 2006

Dead end.

To be real, I believe I drive every new person I meet off. I think I am that much different in behaviour than most and what they expect and/or are use to. Not saying that I act real freaky or odd, I just think I speak a different language. They don’t get the reaction from me that they are use to. I think I’m different because I have other priorities, so ofc my way of life (thinking) is what I present into my way of being. I think that they think that I’m weird, because I don’t fall under the category “normal”. Thinking further.. it’s not that I’m abrupt or cold but I don’t respond to that simple thing of small teasing with a giggle and a joke back as many expect cause I just don’t find that to be something I am interested in. Perhaps by not responding in that way they think of me as boring. But as I wrote, I just have other priorities. Guess it’s easy to say that I’m not an easy flirt, from somes points of views. I do not wish to change, I want to be who I am, I am comfortable this way. But I don’t want to drive 97% of strangers away either. Dead end perhaps.

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Lucid dreaming

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Lucid dreams occur during REM sleep after the person becomes conscious and aware of dreaming within the dream.

Lucid dreaming is the conscious perception of one’s state while dreaming, resulting in a much clearer (“lucid”) experience and sometimes enabling direct control over the content of the dream. The complete experience from start to finish is called a lucid dream. Stephen LaBerge, a popular author and experimenter on the subject, has defined it as “dreaming while knowing that you are dreaming.”

LaBerge and his associates have called people who purposely explore the possibilities of lucid dreaming oneironauts (literally from the Greek ονειροναύτες, meaning “dream sailors”). The topic attracts the attention of a diverse and eclectic group: psychologists, self-help authors, New Age groups, mystics, occultists, ufologists and artists. This list is by no means exhaustive nor does interest in lucid dreaming apply necessarily to each group.

Lucid dreamers regularly describe their dreams as exciting, colourful, and fantastic. Many compare it to a spiritual experience and say that it changed their lives or their perception of the world. Some have even reported lucid dreams that take on a hyperreality, seemingly “more real than real”, where all the elements of reality are amplified. Lucid dreams are prodigiously more memorable than other kinds of dreaming, even nightmares, which may be why they are often prescribed as a means of ridding one’s self of troubling dreams.

The validity of lucid dreaming as a scientifically verified phenomenon is well-established. It may be classified as a protoscience, pending an increase in scientific knowledge about the subject. Researchers such as Allan Hobson with his neurophysiological approach to dreaming have helped to push the understanding of lucid dreaming into a less speculative realm.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucid_dreaming

Gender and Communication.

Before continuing, reflect: why are you reading this – what do you need?

In the interesting, well-researched book Brain Sex (1991), geneticist Anne Moir and co-author David Jessel say that the development of a person’s brain and certain glands are mainly programmed early in pregnancy by the presence or absence of male sex hormones – specially testosterone.

All embryo brains start out wired “female” (!) Moir claims that social programming is an important but much weaker factor in determining whether a person has “male” or “female” traits and response patterns. Male and female brains are structured and process information differently. Adults’ and kids’ brains are on a continuum from “very male” to “very female,” and function largely independently of the gender of the body they’re in (Hence “tom-boys” and “sissies”).

Because of this, Dr. Moir urges that we stop the “battle of the sexes” – for neither is right or better, we’re just “wired” differently. Thus in communicating, it would help if men and women stop judging and trying to convert each other (“You are so illogical!; Yeah? Well you have the sensitivity of a tree stump.”), accept our different abilities and skills as complementary, and blend them cooperatively to manage our life challenges! This seems to answer Henry Higgins’ question in My Fair Lady “Why Can’t A Woman … Be More Like A Man?!”

Some of these innate, largely biological differences seem to be:

High-Testosterone People
(“Male brains”) prefer:

_ things

_ facts, reason, and logic

_ power / rank / status

_ competing / achieving

_ winning

_ teams

_ analyzing / figuring out

_ assertion / aggression

_ reports / information

_ intellectual understanding

_ sex (intercourse / orgasm)

_ companionship / doing

_ teaching / leading

_ being focused / specific / “logical”

_ order / rules / structure

_ thinking

_ how things work

Low-Testosterone People
(“Female brains”) prefer:

_ people

_ feelings, senses, and meaning

_ relationships

_ harmony / relating

_ sharing

_ groups

_ intuiting / “knowing”

_ co-operation, mutuality

_ rapports / bonding

_ empathizing

_ love / intimacy

_ closeness / being

_ nurturing / growing

_ being “wide-angle” / organic / wholistic

_ organic, fluid patterns

_ feeling / experiencing

_ personal and social impacts

A key implication here is – if your partner has a different profile of these priorities than you do, it’s useless and disrespectful to criticize or try to change them. Attempting to do so is like demanding that s/he change her or his fingerprints. What do you think?

Source.

Male-Female Differences in Love, Sex, and Intimacy.

When anger or another problem enters the picture, the differences between men and women and physical intimacy become even more evident.

He feels that making love will make-up.

She feels they must make-up before making love.

When the relationship is in disrepair, a woman will feel it has to be repaired before sex, not repaired by sex. And a man will feel exactly opposite.

Men have sexual thoughts often during the day.

Women can go for hours, even days, without a sexual thought.

For women touching without sex is soothing and comforting. It imparts a warm feeling of security.

For many men, touching without sex can easily be misunderstood and even threatening.

Watch men together. When men touch it is in a rough manner–punching each other or slapping each other on the back. This is because tender touching has sexual undertones for a man. It makes many men feel vulnerable and dependent, feelings men have been socialized to feel are unmasculine.

Young women dream about love and romance; young men dream about sexual fulfillment.

Men are not comfortable with so much closeness and intimacy that they feel vulnerable. Women are not comfortable without it.

Women view sex as coming from a close, intimate relationship. Women want to be in love before having sex. Men think sex is an expression of love.

For women the relationship eventually includes sex. For men the relationship doesn’t really start until it includes sex.

For most women sexual involvement implies that a relationship is possible. For men, such an implication is certainly not automatic.

Women rarely comprehend a man’s ability to separate sex and love. If “her” man has sex with another woman, he can not still love her.

So. Only solution I see is that us women becomes lesbians because only a woman can satisfy a woman. Sperms can be donated for the survival of the species. But hey! I don’t like women in that way.

Perhaps the following can save me:

Definitions and realities are in order here.

1. Not all women are alike. Some women are more evolved than other women.

2. Not all men are alike. Some men are more evolved than other men.

3. Gender identity is the sense we have of belonging either to the male half of the human race or the female half of the race.

4. Gender conceit is when either sex assumes that what is natural and preferred for her/his sex is correct for both sexes.

Source.

When does the female brain outperfrom the male brain?

Anytime a scientist suggests there are biologic brain differences between races, or between male and female- that go beyond social circumstance- there’s bound to be tons of publicity and controversy.

Louann Brizendine, MD- a neuropsychiatrist at the University of California San Francisco- recently published a book called The Female Brain that contends there are indeed inborn biologic differences between male and female brain architecture. Some of these differences include:
women tend to have faster and better fine-motor skills than men
women tend to have faster and broader verbal skills
women tend to have higher emotional IQs:
In a recent interview, she notes: “Women have these extra “antenna” almost sticking out the sides of their cheeks and ears for emotional details and emotional nuance, and their brains are always feeling for emotional information at a level that men can’t even perceive. Therefore, things she may think are very important, he misses completely”
“Women have an eight-lane superhighway for processing emotion, while men have a small country road,” she writes.

“Although we were taught that sex differences mostly came from how your parents raised you as a boy or girl — we now know that’s not completely true,” she writes. “There is no unisex brain. Girls arrive already wired as girls, and boys arrive already wired as boys.”

Although this line of thinking tends to be politcaly incorrect, to me it seems fairly obvious. As my organic chemistry teacher used to repeat over and over again: “Structure determines function”. The brain is just another structure of the body, and it is obvious that males and females tend to have body parts that both look and function differently.

What Women Want.

 

For years the great minds of the world have been trying to find an answer to a very complex question. It seems that no man, no matter what his intellect, can crack the case of this intensely scrutinized predicament. What is it that has Nobel peace prize winners and the great scholars of our world in frenzy? —What do women want? Although you may read the haphazard articles in magazines that talk about strategies and games that will win women over, it is important to consider the evolutionary theory and the qualities that this theory suggests women look for in their mate.

Evolutionary psychology offers one view about female psychology. Not all psychologists agree that this theory offers a complete explanation of “what women want”, but some find the logic attractive.

Selectivity

A man’s contribution to reproduction is fairly small (only a few healthy sperm), while a woman’s investment is much larger and involves a tremendous amount of time and effort. Therefore, a woman is more interested in what the man can provide post-sex, like food and shelter, to ensure the survival of their child. According to evolutionary psychologists, this should lead the woman to be highly selective in choosing her partner. Since women risk an enormous investment as a consequence of having sex, evolution should favor women who are highly selective in choosing their mates. If a woman was not highly discriminate about who her mate would be, the result could be unhealthy children who did not survive to reproductive age.

Obviously times have changed with the introduction of highly effective birth control methods, such as the pill and the condom. This advancement has given women in developed countries more freedom to experiment sexually without high fear of pregnancy. However, even today most women are still cautious about their mates, fearing that a rendezvous might result in long term consequences such as conception, or sexually transmitted diseases.

So maybe selectivity is not a brand new idea and men have known for centuries how ‘picky’ women can be. What can men do to ensure they are the ones a woman will choose them?

Generosity

All things being equal, would a woman choose a stingy man over a generous man? It may seem like a simple answer, but it is important to consider. A generous man who is willing to sacrifice his time, energy and resources is likely to benefit the woman, her offspring and contribute to the woman’s future fertility. A happy, healthy woman is more likely to have happy healthy children to grow up and be fruitful until reproductive age.
In the real world, all things are rarely equal. With all of the thousands of differences among men, why do women value some characteristics more than others? Why is generosity more important that a cleft chin? Why do women not ask to see a man’s toes before their first date? Some attributes are granted more weight than others, and one of the most scrutinized attributes are a man’s resources and social status.

Resources

The evolution of the female preference for males who offer resources may be the most ancient and pervasive basis for female choice in the animal kingdom. During avian mating season, the male gray shrike of Israel displays all of the items he has amassed throughout the summer months and impales them on thorns. The female shrikes then fly around and choose their mates depending on the amount of resources they have. Male Shrikes with no resources are destined for bachelorhood. According to evolutionary psychologists, humans do not fall far from this animalistic ritual. In our society, the amenities a man can provide for his mate are important in a woman’s decision to choose or not choose him. If the man is unable to provide for her and her offspring, then the woman will seek elsewhere for these resources. In fact, in a cross-cultural survey study of women, it has been found that women place more value than men on financial resources.

Social Status

In traditional hunter-gatherer societies, social hierarchies were common. The men at the top of the hierarchy would have access to most of the resources, while the men at the bottom had less. For this reason, many women would seek the men at the top. This still rings true in today’s society. Henry Kissinger once remarked that power is the most potent aphrodisiac. In a study conducted on American college-aged men and women in Massachusetts, Michigan, Texas and California, social status was ranked between important and indispensable for women, whereas men rate it as desirable but not very important. When looking for a mate, women place great value on education and professional degrees, which are both strong indicators of future social status. As the roles of men and women have changed through evolution, the value women place on social status may be changing accordingly. But again, it is difficult to dismiss millions of years of evolution of the female psyche and consider only the modern woman. For this reason, women may continue to value social status highly when choosing a partner.
Perhaps the most abstract quality a woman looks for in a man regards love and commitment. A man can have all of the resources in the world, but if he does not choose to give his potential mate love and commitment, many women will go in search of another mate.

what women want

PEACE, not war and FREEDOM, not repression

Good links on Terrorism

peaceandfreedom.org

latimes.com

abc.net

guardian.co.uk

cato.org

theaustralian.news.com.au

whitehouse.gov


Welcome

Hi and welcome. This is my journal where I can find a peace of mind. Perhaps teach myself something. I escape here to unwind, cry or complain, or share my joy. Hope you enjoy your stay.

The current mood of mixedpearl at www.imood.com

She

A 27 year old womans attempt to understand herself and the rest of the world. Difficult to explain myself with only a few words, you decide from the words in my journal. I suppose I am trying to find my strength through this so I think I am a bit confused, I'm quite emotional and very loving though I at times may seem very cold.

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A rather new blog but not a new blogger. From Swedish decent, this blog will contain both languages.
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