Gender and Communication.

Before continuing, reflect: why are you reading this – what do you need?

In the interesting, well-researched book Brain Sex (1991), geneticist Anne Moir and co-author David Jessel say that the development of a person’s brain and certain glands are mainly programmed early in pregnancy by the presence or absence of male sex hormones – specially testosterone.

All embryo brains start out wired “female” (!) Moir claims that social programming is an important but much weaker factor in determining whether a person has “male” or “female” traits and response patterns. Male and female brains are structured and process information differently. Adults’ and kids’ brains are on a continuum from “very male” to “very female,” and function largely independently of the gender of the body they’re in (Hence “tom-boys” and “sissies”).

Because of this, Dr. Moir urges that we stop the “battle of the sexes” – for neither is right or better, we’re just “wired” differently. Thus in communicating, it would help if men and women stop judging and trying to convert each other (“You are so illogical!; Yeah? Well you have the sensitivity of a tree stump.”), accept our different abilities and skills as complementary, and blend them cooperatively to manage our life challenges! This seems to answer Henry Higgins’ question in My Fair Lady “Why Can’t A Woman … Be More Like A Man?!”

Some of these innate, largely biological differences seem to be:

High-Testosterone People
(“Male brains”) prefer:

_ things

_ facts, reason, and logic

_ power / rank / status

_ competing / achieving

_ winning

_ teams

_ analyzing / figuring out

_ assertion / aggression

_ reports / information

_ intellectual understanding

_ sex (intercourse / orgasm)

_ companionship / doing

_ teaching / leading

_ being focused / specific / “logical”

_ order / rules / structure

_ thinking

_ how things work

Low-Testosterone People
(“Female brains”) prefer:

_ people

_ feelings, senses, and meaning

_ relationships

_ harmony / relating

_ sharing

_ groups

_ intuiting / “knowing”

_ co-operation, mutuality

_ rapports / bonding

_ empathizing

_ love / intimacy

_ closeness / being

_ nurturing / growing

_ being “wide-angle” / organic / wholistic

_ organic, fluid patterns

_ feeling / experiencing

_ personal and social impacts

A key implication here is – if your partner has a different profile of these priorities than you do, it’s useless and disrespectful to criticize or try to change them. Attempting to do so is like demanding that s/he change her or his fingerprints. What do you think?



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Hi and welcome. This is my journal where I can find a peace of mind. Perhaps teach myself something. I escape here to unwind, cry or complain, or share my joy. Hope you enjoy your stay.

The current mood of mixedpearl at


A 27 year old womans attempt to understand herself and the rest of the world. Difficult to explain myself with only a few words, you decide from the words in my journal. I suppose I am trying to find my strength through this so I think I am a bit confused, I'm quite emotional and very loving though I at times may seem very cold.

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A rather new blog but not a new blogger. From Swedish decent, this blog will contain both languages.
November 2006
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