Dead end.

To be real, I believe I drive every new person I meet off. I think I am that much different in behaviour than most and what they expect and/or are use to. Not saying that I act real freaky or odd, I just think I speak a different language. They don’t get the reaction from me that they are use to. I think I’m different because I have other priorities, so ofc my way of life (thinking) is what I present into my way of being. I think that they think that I’m weird, because I don’t fall under the category “normal”. Thinking further.. it’s not that I’m abrupt or cold but I don’t respond to that simple thing of small teasing with a giggle and a joke back as many expect cause I just don’t find that to be something I am interested in. Perhaps by not responding in that way they think of me as boring. But as I wrote, I just have other priorities. Guess it’s easy to say that I’m not an easy flirt, from somes points of views. I do not wish to change, I want to be who I am, I am comfortable this way. But I don’t want to drive 97% of strangers away either. Dead end perhaps.


3 Responses to “Dead end.”

  1. 1 whig November 13, 2006 at 6:32 pm

    It is a hard thing when you are so powerful that people want to run away or submit immediately. You have that kind of presence, and so do I. Only my wife can really understand me and there are parts of me that even she doesn’t want to deal with sometimes.

    It’s how it is, and that’s why we blog for an outlet.

  2. 2 anaj April 15, 2007 at 11:06 am

    Hi there, just wanted to leave a brief message as your thoughts remind me a lot of my own thoughts and feelings among people a couple of yours ago. Actually, pretty much around your age, I am 33 now, female, from Austria. All I can promise is that it’ll wear off as you get older. I often used to feel lonely, but at the same time thought that probably 97% of the people I meet are just so different from me that communication seemed impossible. And although that sounded pretty arrogant, like I felt superior, I was actually afraid that they’d find me boring. My experience is that one cannot change much about that – but that it is going to matter less the older and wiser you become. Just focus on the the things you’re good at, and then one day most people will still be as uninteresting for you, but it won’t matter anymore because you have got so many more interesting things in you. And of course there are a couple of good people every now and again – hold on to these, and in some years time there’ll be a couple of like-minded people around you.

  3. 3 hudds53 May 2, 2007 at 1:54 am

    It is a rare person that has the strength to remain, themselves. To often myself included we give into the norm. We talk and act as we are expected to act all to be accepted. But then is it really you that is accepted or the mask you have put on.
    If you are content within yourself that you are being yourself, don’t change. Enjoy the freedom of being yourself and good for you. Just check to be sure there isn’t an element of shyness or something holding you back.
    I admire your honesty and courage.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


Hi and welcome. This is my journal where I can find a peace of mind. Perhaps teach myself something. I escape here to unwind, cry or complain, or share my joy. Hope you enjoy your stay.

The current mood of mixedpearl at


A 27 year old womans attempt to understand herself and the rest of the world. Difficult to explain myself with only a few words, you decide from the words in my journal. I suppose I am trying to find my strength through this so I think I am a bit confused, I'm quite emotional and very loving though I at times may seem very cold.

Additional Info

A rather new blog but not a new blogger. From Swedish decent, this blog will contain both languages.
November 2006
« Oct   Dec »

Keep my net



Blog Stats

  • 176,712 hits

©opyright Information

Most photos and poetry may not be copied. If you are unsure please do ask me before redistributing.

%d bloggers like this: